Privacy Policy

My privacy policy is neither exciting nor unique. It simply exists like a fine piece of art with an existentialist complex.

Privacy Policy

Your privacy is very important to us. A lot of people start off talking about how important privacy is to them, then they go on to describe ways that your information will be collected and your privacy slowly leeched away from you like the edibility of an old sandwich forgotten at the bottom of a child’s backpack (terrible analogy is terrible).

We’ve made this Privacy Policy available to help you understand we might collect, use, communicate and disclose and make use of personal information, but we’ll never dress it up in a frilly, pink dress and make it march through town like that. We also don’t plan to do anything nefarious with it like sell it to a megacorp in exchange for a pack of gum.

We’ll tell you why we need your information if we need to collect it, then go on to do those things with it and no other strange things. Unless the law tells us we have to do strange things–and we certainly hope they don’t. That would just be awkward.

We are committed to conducting our business in accordance with the principles outlined in our privacy policy in order to ensure that the confidentiality of personal information is protected and maintained.

We do not collect information to sell to third parties and aren’t likely to take up any such activity.

It is our hope that you will browse and use this website knowing that evil gnomes are not chipping away at the truthfulness of this policy because they aren’t. We got the gnome-away protection package.

The following outlines our privacy policy.

Before or at the time of collecting personal information, we will identify the purposes for which information is being collected.

We will collect and use of personal information solely with the objective of fulfilling those purposes specified by us and for other compatible purposes, unless we obtain the consent of the individual concerned or as required by law.

We will only retain personal information as long as necessary for the fulfillment of those purposes.

We will collect personal information by lawful and fair means and, where appropriate, with the knowledge or consent of the individual concerned.

Personal data should be relevant to the purposes for which it is to be used, and, to the extent necessary for those purposes, should be accurate, complete, and up-to-date.

We will protect personal information by reasonable security safeguards against loss or theft, as well as unauthorized access, disclosure, copying, use or modification.

We will make readily available to customers information about our policies and practices relating to the management of personal information. You’re looking at it right now!